Advice Duo ... Bros before hoes
Issue date: 2/3/10 Section: Campus Talk
Dear Duo,
My roommate is my best friend at Brockport. We spend most of our time together, eating, chilling and going out on the weekends. Lately, this girl in our hall has been stalking him like crazy. She is the most annoying person on the planet. All she does is flirt with him and comes over to our room all the time. He says he doesn't like her, but still won't tell her to get lost. Now she comes along whenever we go somewhere (most of the time she invites herself) and I find myself looking for ways to avoid both of them now, which sucks since I'm losing my best friend. How do I explain this to my roommate? I don't want him to be offended, but this girl is too much to handle. Help!
- Neglected bro
Dr. Fill's Advice
There's not much I can do for you apart from analyzing the situation according to what you've told me and drawing my own conclusions regardless of what you've said. I can't personally tell this girl to get lost. I can't personally tell your best pal to grow a pair. I'm not even in a position to blackmail the mystery female into never showing her face again.
Having said that, I think I know what your problem is. You're not getting laid.
Let me spread it out for you. You and your roommate are tight, right? So tight, in fact, that you happily spend most of your time together. If you didn't live together, you'd probably hang out all the time anyways. You guys are more than besties. You're bros.
Then, one seemingly normal day, a girl appears on your homie's arm. This isn't just any old girl, however. This girl is literally "the most annoying person on the planet." She never stops doing the most irritating things imaginable, like flirting with your hermano and occasionally visiting him at his room. I'm guessing she even has the audacity to hold his hand in front of you.
How dare she.
It's alright, you know. For thousands of college students all across the country just like yourself, each and every semester is little more than a constant struggle to get their freak on. It looks to me like your friend has succeeded, leaving you in the dust. In his excitement, he has started hanging out with this girl - sometimes even on the weekends - in hopes of keeping his freak switch to the on position.
My roommate is my best friend at Brockport. We spend most of our time together, eating, chilling and going out on the weekends. Lately, this girl in our hall has been stalking him like crazy. She is the most annoying person on the planet. All she does is flirt with him and comes over to our room all the time. He says he doesn't like her, but still won't tell her to get lost. Now she comes along whenever we go somewhere (most of the time she invites herself) and I find myself looking for ways to avoid both of them now, which sucks since I'm losing my best friend. How do I explain this to my roommate? I don't want him to be offended, but this girl is too much to handle. Help!
- Neglected bro
Dr. Fill's Advice
There's not much I can do for you apart from analyzing the situation according to what you've told me and drawing my own conclusions regardless of what you've said. I can't personally tell this girl to get lost. I can't personally tell your best pal to grow a pair. I'm not even in a position to blackmail the mystery female into never showing her face again.
Having said that, I think I know what your problem is. You're not getting laid.
Let me spread it out for you. You and your roommate are tight, right? So tight, in fact, that you happily spend most of your time together. If you didn't live together, you'd probably hang out all the time anyways. You guys are more than besties. You're bros.
Then, one seemingly normal day, a girl appears on your homie's arm. This isn't just any old girl, however. This girl is literally "the most annoying person on the planet." She never stops doing the most irritating things imaginable, like flirting with your hermano and occasionally visiting him at his room. I'm guessing she even has the audacity to hold his hand in front of you.
How dare she.
It's alright, you know. For thousands of college students all across the country just like yourself, each and every semester is little more than a constant struggle to get their freak on. It looks to me like your friend has succeeded, leaving you in the dust. In his excitement, he has started hanging out with this girl - sometimes even on the weekends - in hopes of keeping his freak switch to the on position.
Viewing Comments 1 - 1 of 1
MJ
posted 2/05/10 @ 9:23 AM EST
I'm much more insulted by the fact that girls are referred to as "hoes" in a headline than by the sex column that was printed last week.
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